Toothbrushes

I have the world's greatest husband. He is the greatest husband because, well, he hasn't left me. And because he tells me "you are not a crazy person," even when I am in fact, acting like a crazy person. He holds me when I cry, rubs my back before I take a nap, supports my dreams, and listens to my rants about racism, sexism, and why the heck restaurants put shrimp in their Alfredo.

Christian also washes the dishes almost every night, cleans the toilet, and knows how to make the bed the way I like: a decorative blanket draped at the foot, four bed pillows at the head, a fur body pillow on top of those, and then two decorative pillows sitting at the center of it all. *Please see also "I am a crazy person".

I love my husband, and I love all the adventures we've had together over the last year and a half. Because we are poor college students, we have gotten really great at taking weekend trips on a budget. During one such trip, we arrived in Southern California late in the evening. We unpacked enough to change into pajamas and get ready for bed.

I pulled out two toothbrushes and the toothpaste, and started brushing my teeth. Christian walked in as I was finishing up and after I rinsed the tooth brush, he picked it up and started brushing his teeth. This wasn't extremely out of the ordinary, because while we did have two toothbrushes there, we've shared one before. This might gross some people out, but I figure if I let him stick his tongue in my mouth, I can let him use my toothbrush. For the rest of the trip, he brushed his teeth with the same toothbrush that I used.

When we returned home, Christian ran to the cupboard in the bathroom where the cleaning supplies are kept. He pulled out a green toothbrush, identical to the one I had been using all weekend. He told me, "Last week I used this toothbrush to clean dog poop off of my shoes. When I saw you brushing your teeth with a green toothbrush, I thought that it was this one."

I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner and he said "It was already too late. I didn't want it to gross you out, you already started using it." I laughed for a minute and then recalled the events of the weekend. He brushed his teeth with the same toothbrush.

I have the greatest husband in the world, because when he saw that I was brushing my teeth with a dog poop toothbrush, he did it to. He did it so that if I ever found out what had happened, he could tell me that I wasn't alone.

This is probably the grossest, sweetest example of empathy I have ever witnessed in my life.

"Empathy is feeling with people. I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space. In order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling." - Brene Brown

The thing is, empathy isn't always glamorous or easy. It can be like sticking a dog poop toothbrush in your mouth. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to allow your heart to go somewhere where it will hurt.

Right now, we have a unique opportunity to empathize with the pain of our brothers and sisters around the world. While this country usually carries on, immune and oblivious to the wars and turmoil happening abroad, we now stand still, a part of the global pandemic. No matter their age, culture, or socioeconomic background, people all over the world are experiencing sickness, fear, and isolation.

I hope we allow this experience to teach us empathy. I hope that we go forth with a greater understanding for our loved ones, neighbors, and strangers around the globe. I hope that when we see others are hurting, that we will walk over to their pain and sit in it together. I hope that we care so much to understand that pain that we are willing to brush our teeth with a dog poop toothbrush.

"Empathy. Sounds pretty inadequate, but it is a place to start. We may not be able to alter [other's] journey, but we can make sure no one walks it alone. Surely that is what it means to bear one another's burdens." - Elder Jeffery R. Holland